<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 22pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">俏皮话</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">(</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">相声</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">) <p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 15pt;"><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">:</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">问你一个问题</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">怎样说话才好听</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">? <p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">:</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">和和气气的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甜甜蜜蜜的</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">. <p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：我问的不是这个，我是问你</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">……</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">就是比如说</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">有成语、彦语、歇后语什么的，用哪种说法最好听。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：平平常常的说法就行了，把各种说法综合起来用，就显得生动好听。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：我看不是，我认为就是用歇后语说话最好听。你会不会歇后语？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：会呀，那谁不会。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你说两句我听听。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你今年多大了？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：六十八岁。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：正搞对象吧？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：那不叫搞对象，那叫搞老太太。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：这就有句歇后语，你是“寿星老尿炕——老没出息”。哪有那大岁数的人了，还搞对象。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你这叫什么话，岁数大了更需要个晚老伴。你呀，别胡说八道了。你要是真会，咱俩就比比赛，看谁用的贴切用的好。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：行啊，那就比比吧。你和我相比呀，那就是“白痴的葫芦——傻瓜”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：那你和我相比，就是“老太太上鸡窝——笨蛋”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：那你呀</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">…… <p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">: </font></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">得、得、得，咱们别这样说，你一句我一句的没个章法，显不出水平来。我们今天得出着题目说。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：出什么题目？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：咱们就互相夸奖一番，看谁用歇后语夸人的水平高。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你夸我，我夸你，这是个好主意，谁都爱听好话，省得闹意见，气氛和谐。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：没意见咱就开始？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：好，开始。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：老李呀，你很有才华，你是“天上挂剪子——高才”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：老张啊，你出的点子真好，那真是“天上打灯笼——高明”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：怎么样，听着舒服吧？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：舒服。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：那我们接着说？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：接着说。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你这个人办事实实在在，那真是“搬竹杆进胡同——直来直去”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你这个人从来不做对不起人的事，那真是“半夜打雷心不惊——问心无愧”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你这个人一门心思把工作做好，那真是“白娘子救许仙——尽心尽力”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你这个人执起法来严肃认真，那真是“拨了萝卜窟窿在——有根有据”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：怎么样，这样夸行不？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：行。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：那就“白胡子老头系胡子——继续”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：行，“娶个带孩子的媳妇——继续”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你这个人做起报告来，就好比是“白骨精唱歌——怪腔怪调”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你这个人说起话来，就好比是“白骨精开曰——不讲人话”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你这个人好比是“白眼狼戴眼镜——假充文明人”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你这个人好比是“白眼狼戴草帽——假装老实人”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：慢慢，我怎么听着不对劲呢。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：问你呀，我早就听着心堵了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：啊，我们不是夸人了，我们是在骂人了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：可不是，就你挑的头，把我们和谐的气氛全让你破坏了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：是，从现在起打住，我们还是说好听的吧。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：对呀，说好听的。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你看你呀，那是“搬竹杆进胡同——直来直去”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：不对了，你怎么又说回来了，是不是没别的可说了？“白娘子喝了雄黄酒——现原形了吧”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：你往下听啊，还有呢，这回给你来一串。你是“搬竹杆进胡同——直来直去”，可你“百里长的公路不用拐弯——太直了”，所以领导看你是“叭拉狗咬月亮——不知天有多高”，同志们说你是“外交官搞间谍——不受欢迎的人”，结果你是白白的“粪叉子抠屁股——硬手”，你是白白的干了那么多工作，到头来你还是“巴掌打空气——劳而无功”，到退休了连个芝麻粒大的小官都没捞上。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：你说的还真对，我吃亏就吃在这张笨嘴上，我这笨嘴呀，好有一比</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><font face="Times New Roman">…… <p></p></font></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：那真是“把石头扔进茅坑里——引起公愤（粪）”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙；咳，你这臭嘴比我还臭。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：哪能啊，你应该向我学习。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：学你什么？</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：学我怎样当上领导的。这里面有学问。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：还有学问，那你说说。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：论才能，我是“被窝里放屁——能文（闻）能武（捂）”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">论口才，我是“叭拉狗掀门帘——全仗这张嘴”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 24pt; TEXT-INDENT: -24pt; mso-char-indent-count: -1.5;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">论外场，我是“表子送客——虚情假义”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">论流须领导，我是“百家姓不念第一个字——开口就是钱”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">论娶媳妇，我娶了领导的表妹的表妹的侄女，所以我和领导是“白菜叶子炒大葱——亲（青）上加亲（青）”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">乙：所以你的结局就更美了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你不善待他人，总是“半夜闹王殿——暗中捣鬼”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你不好好工作，总是“在天上说梦话——高谈阔论”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你当个小官，就“八月十五种花生——瞎指挥”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你官不大派不小，硬是“叭拉狗蹲墙头——硬装坐地虎”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你做的不对也听不进别人批评，你是“狗啃骨头——碰也不让碰”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">你是“禽流感时期的养鸡场——净是空架子”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">结果你被罢了官，还降了两级工资。你这个“被窝里放屁——能文能武”的人变成了“被窝里放屁——独吞臭气”。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt 32pt; TEXT-INDENT: -32pt; mso-char-indent-count: -2.0;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">甲：我哪有你说的那么好哇，我不是被窝里放屁，我是“天上放屁——臭气熏天”哪，我惨透了。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt;"> <p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p>
[此贴子已经被作者于2006-4-16 0:14:18编辑过]
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狗仔卡
发表于 2006-4-16 17:50
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